workshop of Wendy's SOLUTION ESSAY.

Solution Essay Workshop Questions
Thesis:
1. Restate the thesis in your own words. If the thesis is a question and not an assertion, make it an assertion. Make sure the words “although” and "because" are in it.
Although the K-8 schools in the Fairbanks North Star Borough School District are traditional they should be replaced by magnet schools because there is a large number of children whose academic needs are not met by the current school system, the learning environment of magnet schools is more nurturing and balanced, and magnet schools focus on the individual academic needs of the child.

2. Does the thesis state the author's position on a controversial topic? Is it at the end of the first paragraph?
Yes, the thesis states the author’s position. The position calls for a drastic change to the education system in Fairbanks so it is controversial. It is also stated at the end of the first paragraph as required.

Reasons:
List below the author's reasons for holding his or her position. Are they listed in the thesis, or in the body of the paper? They should be listed in the thesis, and expanded upon in the body of the paper.The reasons are all stated in the thesis and expanded on in the body of the essay, and they are:
1. the current school system in Fairbanks leaves children behind and does not meet their academic needs.

2. The environment of magnet schools is nurturing and balanced. (I suppose by this the author means traditional schools are not nurturing and balanced.)

3. Magnet schools provide a better learning environment because they focus on the students needs on an individual basis.

Audience:
Who is the author's audience? Do they already agree with the author, or is the author writing to the opposition? How can you tell? Give specific examples.
The author’s audience would be the citizens of the Fairbanks Borough, which would include parents, teachers, students, and school board members. The author would be writing to the opposition because the position she brings up goes against the norm and calls for a complete change in the way the school district operates. “In the author’s own words her argument calls for, “Transitioning all the K-8 grade schools into magnets school.” Which many people would view as a radical idea.

Counterargument:
List the counterarguments (arguments of the author’s oppositions) used in the paper (there should be at least three). Does the author adequately address these arguments? Do you think there are other arguments that could be addressed? Do you see any logical fallacies?
1. A counter argument to the authors first point would be that the Fairbanks school district DOES meet the needs of its students. However, the example the author uses in the second paragraph addresses this. Another counter argument to the author’s first point is that the Fairbanks school district does not need to cater to individual students, they should adapt to the current system. This counter argument to this is not addressed in the essay.

2. The author’s second point is, “magnet schools provide a nurturing environment that add balance through both the academics and the arts.” I guess the counter argument to this would be that they do not. Or, the counter argument could call the author to provide proof of this, which the author does when she explained the experience her son had in a magnet school.

3. The author’s third point is that magnet schools are balanced and focus on individual students and “provide the best learning experience” for the students. A counter argument to this would be that they do not. The author addresses this by providing examples of how balanced and focused on individuals magnet schools are.

The author does not bring up specific examples of what is wrong with traditional schools, she only points out general things. Is this because it is assumed that the general knowledge is that public schools need to be “fixed?”

Title:
Does the paper have an interesting title? If not, help author come up with one.
The rough draft title is just “Magnet Schools.” The author could use “Magnet Schools VS Traditional Schools.” Or something along those lines.

Introduction:
Is there a catchy lead sentence? What is it? If there isn't one, what would you suggest?
Yes, the lead sentence IS catchy, I liked it! But who is Mary Jean-Le Tendre? Maybe the author could say who she is.

Conclusion:
How does the author conclude the paper? What do you think of it?
In the conclusion the author says, “…keep the teachers from growing stagnant by teaching the same subject everyday.” Was this ever elaborated on in the body paragraphs? Was it even in the body paragraphs? I think it is a good point and should be touched on more in the essay and not just the conclusion. Besides that, the conclusion was okay it just didn’t feel like it ended. I think the conclusion needs to be more concluding. (Yes, I know I sound like a crazy person for saying that) but the conclusion did not make a clear, authoritative ending. If it did the paper would be near perfection!

Flow/Transitions:
Does each paragraph expand upon the thesis? Do the paragraphs flow? Which paragraphs have bumpy transitions?
The paragraph flow and the transitions are smooth. The only thing I would point out to the author is the sentence at the end of the fourth paragraph, “I feel that the public school system could follow in the footsteps of the University of Alaska Fairbanks and keep the science theme alive throughout the school district as well.” I was confused by this. Maybe rewording it would clarify it.

I had never heard of magnet schools before I read this. Good paper, I enjoyed it! I hope my workshop helped.

Wendy's blog: http://fnwlb.blogspot.com/2007/11/solution-paper-first-draft-magnet.html